Saturday, 20 December 2008

A few tips to the players

Good luck against WBA tomorrow boys. Some of the squad are new to the phenomenon that is Manchester City, so I thought you may appreciate a few tips for playing a team at the bottom of the league, based on my forty four years of watching City.
1. City are always notoriously slow starting up, so try and imagine that the game has been playing for some twenty minutes when you kick off, this will mean that you are not 0-2 down by the time you get into gear.
2. Whatever you all may think, with the exception of Robinho and possibly SWP, you are NOT a group of Galacticos who always steam roller the opposition, so do NOT fanny around pretending you are by attempting to play a superior passing game. We all know that you haven't a clue and the opposition will soon sus you out too.
3. Try getting stuck in to the opposition for a change. The WBA players will be playing out of their skins for survival, try and remember that you are too.
4. Avoid going a goal down in the opening ten minutes (see point 1)
5. Do not play the ball into the direction of Richard Dunne's right foot as he is prone to making silly mistakes or scoring an own goal with it.
6. Do not play the ball into the direction of Richard Dunne's left foot as he is prone to making silly mistakes or scoring an own goal with it.
7. Avoid playing the ball in the air near Richard Dunne's head as he is prone to making silly mistakes or scoring an own goal with it.
Right, that's it. Go out and enjoy yourselves. Oh and don't forget to win.

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